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Fic: Gryffindors

Title: Gryffindors
Author: Pinigir
Fandom: House
Characters/Pairing: Kutner, focuses a bit on House/Wilson (and Sirius/Remus)
Rating: PG?
Warnings: Some slashy subtext is mentioned. Reference to Harry Potter characters.
Spoilers: Takes place during episode 5.17: The Social Contract. No real spoilers for Harry Potter.
Summary: Kutner keeps thinking about Harry Potter.
Disclaimer: I don’t own House or Harry Potter. I was inspired by some fics I’ve read on LJ, so some credit should be given to them as well.
Notes: If you see any mistakes, I’ll be happy to correct them.

Gryffindors

The current patient suffered from frontal lobe disinhibition. He was an editor who had been at a dinner to celebrate the upcoming book release of one of his authors, when he had suddenly lost the ability to control what came out of his mouth. Which effectively meant that he had trashed the book, the author and everything else he could think of. This had been followed by a nose bleed and the editor collapsing on the floor, but those symptoms weren’t nearly as cool or descriptive as the first one.

House had ordered him and Taub to check for nasal cancer, which it wasn’t. Now, he came to tell House that. He found House in the lobby, talking to Wilson about something or other, and told him his findings. He also added the observation that the patient’s marriage wouldn’t last long, if they didn’t find a way to cure him of his condition soon.

To this, Wilson jokingly remarked that he had always thought that House was one of a kind, but had apparently been wrong. Kutner himself thought that the patient was probably lucky, because his jerkiness would be temporary. House disagreed. Being fixed would mean that he could control his impulses, but it wouldn’t stop him from thinking these things. Wilson defended the patient, by saying that the nice guy persona was just as much part of him as his inner thoughts. And of course, House took this as an opportunity to verbally attack Wilson, by telling him that such an argument would be expected from him, seeing as he was all persona. Which implied that Wilson didn’t have any real personality.

Kutner decided to pitch in again, before the discussion derailed completely. His mind raced to come up with something, and came up with...Harry Potter!?

So he said: “I agree with Wilson. This guy is Harry Potter –”

They turned to look at him as if he had just said the most remarkable (or remarkably stupid) thing in the world. He probably had. And now he had to explain.

“ – The sorting hat was gonna put Harry in Slytherin, based on his nature. He refused, so he ended up in Gryffindor, through choice.”

House looked at him as if he was an idiot and told him to find the brain damage the patient had to have. Nothing was said about his Harry Potter blurt out.

Why hadn’t said House anything? Maybe House actually knew and liked the series. The other option was that House was planning on torturing him with this in the future, at the most inappropriate of times. The last one sounded more like something House would do. Kutner hoped he wouldn’t. He really hoped that he wouldn’t be reminded of this incident ever again.

Even though he couldn’t be sure that House was ever going to come back on this, his mind immediately started coming up with excuses and deflections he could use if the situation ever presented itself. The funny thing was, that if that time would come, he would have completely forgotten what he’d thought up. He would then still have to come up with something ad hoc, which would invariably be something incredibly lame. So, even if he came up with a brilliant defense now, the chances of him being able to remember it at the right moment were very slim.

Where had this idea even come from? Why had his brain decided to spit out a Harry Potter reference? Actually, it wasn’t all that hard to figure out. He had zapped past one of the movies last night. Apparently, it had been buzzing around in his brain since then, to pop up at the weirdest moment. Just like those catchy songs that kept playing in your head, until they almost drove you crazy.

Hang on, why did he even feel the need to defend himself? So what, if he had read all the books and seen all the movies (the ones that had been released, anyway)? He was a geek and he was proud to show it. If they hadn’t known he was a geek before, they knew it now. There really was no reason to be ashamed of being a Harry Potter fan. And, on the issue of taste: it wasn’t like House had the best taste. The man watched General Hospital and liked monster trucks. So, who was he to judge?



When Kutner came home, thoughts about Harry Potter were still going around in his brain.

He had compared the current patient to Harry Potter: someone who had the Slytherin attitude, but who wanted to be part of something like Gryffindor. It had made him wonder which Harry Potter characters he could compare himself and his colleagues to. He had the feeling that most of them would fit into Gryffindor, though House would surely object. But hey, being a doctor was a very heroic thing to do.

House would probably fancy himself Lord Voldemort if someone asked him (and House decided to deign that question with an answer). House would love to cultivate his bad guy image, but he really wasn’t all that evil. He saved people’s lives!

Kutner had to admit that House had a very Slytherin-like way of approaching things, but he had little in common with someone like Draco Malfoy. The Slytherin that came closest to House’s mind-set was Snape. Yeah, Kutner could definitely see House as Snape.

Who would Wilson be? There wasn’t anybody like Wilson in Snape’s life, sadly enough. But an idea of who Wilson was like came up in his mind quite quickly. Wilson might make a great Remus Lupin. He was loyal and responsible, and he constantly tried to keep his best friend(s) out of trouble, which often led to him being sucked up in another crazy adventure.

Determining Wilson’s identity gave him a new and better idea of who House could be: Sirius Black. He was a Gryffindor, but from a Slytherin family. He had the right personality, being a rebel and a trouble maker. Both House and Sirius were brilliant and slightly insane. And both had the cool motorbike.

Another strong point of this idea was that the connection between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin echoed the one between House and Wilson. Wilson acted, just like Remus did to Sirius, as House’s conscience and confidant.

Kutner knew there were people who thought that Remus and Sirius had been lovers, though he wasn’t sure about it himself. How would this apply to House and Wilson? When he had first gotten here, he had felt some strange vibes between the two doctors. Everyone else seemed to accept this as normal, so he had quickly dismissed it. It hadn’t taken long before he had heard the rumors, either. They were only rumors, but that didn’t mean that there couldn’t be a grain of truth in them. Even if House and Wilson weren’t sleeping together, it didn’t mean they didn’t want to. So, maybe he had found another point of similarity between House and Wilson and Sirius and Remus in this.

Now he had House and Wilson figured out, what could he say about everybody else? If House wasn’t Snape, he couldn’t really think of anybody who was. He didn’t think Foreman really fit the bill. And that was his best guess. Snape’s spot would have to remain empty. Also, there clearly was no Dumbledore here. It would have been nice if there was, but no.

Among the women, he couldn’t really picture Cuddy as Professor McGonagall or the other way around. Cuddy had very little in common with Molly Weasley, either. Between Thirteen and Cameron Cameron was most like Hermione. Though Cameron could just as well be Ginny. He had no idea who Thirteen could be. Luna? Maybe.

He could see Chase as Draco. He had the right hair for it, anyway. Both had the privileged upbringing. And he had heard that Chase had been something of a suck-up in the beginning. That seemed to be gone now. He guessed that was one of the benefits of working for House. Sadly, he had a hard time imagining Taub or Foreman as any important character in the books. He had to content himself with leaving them out.

Could he be Harry? The most obvious thing he had in common with Harry was that he was an orphan as well. On the other hand: the few accidents he had caused at the hospital might cause others to think that he was more like Ron or Neville. He could live with that.

Well, as far as analogies went, comparing his workspace with the world of Harry Potter wasn’t really all that successful. But he was proud of the parallel he had found between House and Wilson and Sirius and Remus (complete with homoerotic subtext). Too bad he couldn’t think of anyone who would appreciate this revelation. Talking about it to House or Wilson would probably be a disastrous mistake. The others simply wouldn’t care. Anyway, he had worked this out now, so he should be able to think about other things again, like the patient.


That’s all, folks! What do you think?

***
If you're interested in reading and/or writing fiction based on mythology and folklore, go to Godfic.

Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
anythingshedoes
Apr. 11th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
This was really cute! The House/Wilson and Remus/Sirius comparisons made me love all four characters even more!

XD
pinigir
Apr. 11th, 2009 05:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
hephaistia
Apr. 11th, 2009 05:58 pm (UTC)
This is so nice. The comparisions were marvellous. Btw, thanks for telling about the 'Godfic' comm. I just love mythology.
pinigir
Apr. 11th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks! And you're welcome. I really love mythology, hence the "ad".
hephaistia
Apr. 11th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
I thought I was the only nut who was crazy enough for that. Lol. Good to be proven otherwise.
pinigir
Apr. 11th, 2009 07:33 pm (UTC)
We're definitely not the only nuts out there! ;-P
bonomania
Apr. 11th, 2009 06:45 pm (UTC)
Haha! So cute and well written. It's strange, I've been reading House and HP fics all day...then BAM! I come across this XD
*grins*
pinigir
Apr. 11th, 2009 07:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Glad to be of service. ;-)

There are a few other fics with a similar idea, like I said in the disclaimer. I wish I could remember names and titles. Right now I'm too lazy to go and search for them.
dana_norram
Apr. 11th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
And both had the cool motorbike.

BEST.LINE.EVER.


<3
pinigir
Apr. 11th, 2009 07:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
eosophobia
Apr. 11th, 2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
This is so cute! I need to go read some Sirius/Remus fic now C:
pinigir
Apr. 12th, 2009 12:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Have fun!
loony4moony816
Apr. 11th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC)
YES! My two absolute favorite fandoms and pairings in one fic! Me happy!
pinigir
Apr. 12th, 2009 12:48 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment!
tenth_bananas
Apr. 12th, 2009 04:39 am (UTC)
This was so unbelievably amazing! You have no clue. First, I was just excited about a Harry Potter and House story. And then you compare my two OTPs?!?! Also, Kutner being like Harry in some ways makes sense. Nice job!
pinigir
Apr. 12th, 2009 01:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

I had this idea of comparing House and Wilson to Sirius and Remus for a while, but hadn't done anything with it yet. Then came Kutner and his Harry Potter reference and I knew what to do. This fic was the result.
eirian84
Apr. 12th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
complete with homoerotic subtext -- FTW!

This was so cute. I <3 Kutner. & I loved his HP line in the episode, so it's wonderful to see you expand on it. Thanks for posting this!
pinigir
Apr. 13th, 2009 01:51 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it! :-)
chllama
Apr. 13th, 2009 01:36 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD!

you are my new best friend! =D

using the two things i absolutely love together is BRILLIANT!

you get a truckload of cookies =D
pinigir
Apr. 13th, 2009 02:49 pm (UTC)
Ooh, cookies!

Thanks!
heledren
May. 28th, 2009 06:06 am (UTC)
Cute and totally Kutneriffic.
pinigir
May. 29th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Kutner is/was my favorite new duckling.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )